Dean And The Pizza Dude
by JeffersonStarship
Summary: Dean orders a pizza and has to face the consequences.


This is a short one shot inspired by a comment one of my friends made recently, and I just felt the need to write it down, because it just struck me as being the perfect scenario for our favourite brothers.

And so let me show you my one shot, my one shot let me show you it!

DEAN AND THE PIZZA DUDE!

Dean Winchester was cleaning his guns one evening, idly thinking about nothing much at all, bar the usual food, when there came a knock at the door. Dean looked up and tracked Sam's progress across the cheesy motel room floor, until the reached the door. Sam's tall frame blocked the visitor from view once he'd opened the door, and Dean went back to cleaning his gun.

After a short bout of soft murmurings mostly coming from his brother, Dean looked up again when Sam called for him.

"Dean, dude, did you order a pizza? Pizza dude is here!" he said, sounding strained.

"Yes, I ordered a pizza, you know I did! Tell him to bring it in!" Dean said, sounding puzzled, large green eyes looking as baffled as he sounded.

"Dean, I can't. When I said pizza dude was here, I meant literally. The dude is a pizza!" Sam said, finally stepping away from the door.

Dean gaped when he saw his brother was right .... there was a six foot pizza standing in the doorway waving at him. The pizza was even smiling invitingly at him. Dean gagged and ran away into the bathroom, taking his gun with him.

"Holy Crap, Holy Crap, but that was scary!" Dean said, his back against the door.

On the other side, he felt a thumping ad an ominous voice yelling - "DEAN! DEAN WINCHESTER! YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR ME!"

"BUGGER OFF! I CHANGED MY MIND! I'M NOT HUNGRY ANY MORE!" Dean yelled back.

"DEAN!" called the pizza dude, at which point Sammy started yelling.

At the sound of his brother possiby in pain, Dean jumped through the door of the bathroom, looking quite heroic in the process.

"LEAVE SAMMY ALONE, YOU CHEESY SON-OF-A-BITCH!" Dean yelled, lustily as he brandished the gun around the room.

The pizza dude had Sam pinned against the far wall and it looked as though the pizza was chewing on Sam's ear.

Sammy was crying and trying to push the pizza off, but the pizza was too stroing.

"This isn't happening! I must be dreaming there's a six foot pizza chewing my ear off! Why can't I wake up?" Sam howled, tears coursing down his cheeks, and dripping off his chin.

"GET AWAY FROM MY BROTHER! OR ELSE I WILL CALL MY ANGEL FRIEND CASTIEL AND HE WILL SMITE YOU INTO SMITHEREENS!" Dean yelled, leaping forward to bite the pizza dude on the edge of his crust.

Dean chewed mightily and said - "You know, Sammy, this pizza is really delicious! You should try some!"

Sam bit the pizza dude out of sheer desperation, despite the fact that he was still crying, but the cheese and tomato flavoured treat soon stopped the flow of his tears.

Castiel appeared as if from nowhere, saying - "Did I hear mention of my name just then? I hope you weren't taking my name in vain, Dean Winchester! Oooh, look, pizza!"

Castiel came forward and started chewing on the pizza dude, before rolling his eyes to the heavens in appreciation.

"Unh, this pizza is heavenly - cooked to perfection!" he said, large blue eyes closed now, as he continued chewing.

"I didn't know angels liked pizza!" Sam said in surprise.

"Neither did I!" Dean agreed, eyeing the angel with some suspicion.

"This is the first time in 2000 years I have been on Earth and they didn't have pizza back then! All they had were loaves and fish, and I don't even like fish!" Castiel said, around another mouthful of pizza.

"That does kind of help .... !" Dean said, with a grin.

Not one of them spoke again, until the pizza was all gone.

Then Sam pointed out - "Who do we pay for this pizza, exactly, now that we've eaten the pizza guy?"

Castiel and Dean stared at him, then Castiel said - "I'm sure God will forgive you, if you don't pay this once!"

Sam and Dean stared at the angel, then all three bolted from the room, just in case they did have to pay someone ....

THE END!!!


End file.
